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Monday, December 9, 2013

Update on Elsa's adoption schedule

I just checked in with agency, and she thinks that we will be travelling to go and get Elsa around the beginning of April to the middle of April (2014).

It's speculation because there are a lot of variables, but that's the estimate.

Since her 2nd birthday is in April....this may work out nicely...I hope we will be with her by her birthday.

Friday, November 15, 2013

David & Mephibosheth

I use this blog to remember this time during Elsa's adoption process.   And hopefully it is an encouragement to others as well.  

Most of the posts are positive, the things the Lord has shown me.    This one may be rough to read, but I think that it is worth mentioning, because I think other people may face this type of negativity regarding a special needs adoption.

One person in response to Elsa's adoption told me, in a despairing sort of tone, that since Elsa is blind - she would never move out and she would live with us for the rest of our lives.  

Now for starters, I plan to help Elsa to be fully independent; however, yes that may be possible. 

But to answer that concern, I have a story from 2 Samuel 9.

King David had a good friend Jonathan.  Then Jonathan died.   After David mourned his friend's death, he wanted to do something kind for his friend's descendants. 

So David said, "Is there yet anyone left of the house of Saul, that I may show him kindness for Jonathan’s sake?”

"Now there was a servant of the house of Saul whose name was Ziba...and Ziba said to the king, 'There is still a son of Jonathan who is crippled in both feet." 

"Then King David sent and brought him... Mephibosheth, the son of Jonathan the son of Saul, came to David and fell on his face and prostrated himself."

"And David said, 'Mephibosheth.' And he said, 'Here is your servant!' David said to him, 'Do not fear, for I will surely show kindness to you for the sake of your father Jonathan, and will restore to you all the land of your grandfather Saul; and you shall eat at my table regularly."

"So Mephibosheth ate at David’s table as one of the king’s sons....Now he was lame in both feet."

David is such a contrast to the rich man in Luke 16 who never once let the poor man eat from his table. 

David didn't say Mephibosheth could eat at his table for 20 years.   He didn't say he could eat there for 40 years.    The text says that he was invited to eat at David's table regularly.   He was a permanent addition to David's meal times.  


Now, I have a friend.   His name is Jesus.   He died for me (and rose again).   He asked me to take in this little one, and I already love her and am glad to do so.   

She isn't invited to eat for 20 years or 40 years, but for as long as she wants to.

There isn't a limit.

When we as adoption children get invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb, there isn't a limit.   We aren't in heaven for 20 years for 40 years, but forever. 

"Now I saw a new heaven and a new earth...Then I, John, saw the holy city, New Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God...." 

"And I heard a loud voice from heaven saying, 'Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and He will dwell with them, and they shall be His people. God Himself will be with them and be their God.   And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away."

"And He said to me, 'It is done!  I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. I will give of the fountain of the water of life freely to him who thirsts.  He who overcomes shall inherit all things, and I will be his God and he shall be My son."   (from Revelations 21:1-7)

God doesn't want us to be with Him for 20 years or any set amount of time. 
He loves us and He wants us to be with Him forever.   There isn't a limit.

So my fear isn't that little Elsa will be at my table always.  In fact I would like to see her cute face there.  

My fear is that I will displease my Friend.   A Friend that loves me and chose little Elsa for us.   I can show kindness to this little one for the love of my Friend.

A sweet Friend that wants me to sit at His table... always.

And He wants Elsa there too.

LID !

Our dossier is officially logged into the CCCWA system as of 11/13!  
LID means "Logged In Date".      CCCWA means China Center for Children Welfares & Adoption.

Our agency thinks it will be about 60 days for our LOA (LOA means letter of acceptance).   After the LOA there is still a couple more months for immigration and more forms on the U.S. side of things.

Things are moving forward...slowly but surely.  :)

Thursday, October 31, 2013

Loaves & Fishes

My friend Christy and I had been praying together about fundraising ideas.    It is balance, because on one hand I want to have faith and just pray like George Muller did- on the other hand, I don't want to be missing what God is showing us to do.

I thought of the story about the man on his roof during a flood.   He kept praying for God's help, and a boat came by and asked him if he wanted a ride, and he said "No, I'm waiting on God."   Then a helicopter came by and asked if he wanted a ride, and he refused them as well.   Then he drowned.   When he got to heaven he asked God why when he was praying and praying, did God not help him?   God said, "Didn't you see the boat and the helicopter I sent?"

Anyhow, it's a silly story, but it did speak to me.  :)

My friend Jacci also counseled that God may show one family to do one thing, and yet show another family to do another.   That maybe for one family God would show them to just pray, and to another He might show them to act.   And that prayer without any action, could possibly be seen by some as an excuse for being lazy.   Hmmm...lots to pray about!

Christy also pointed out that having a rummage type sale might also bring awareness to orphans, and that's always a good thing.  And when she prayed about it, she referred to the story of the loaves and fishes.

Later when I was reading a Bible story to my little girl, we just so happened to read the story of the loaves and fishes, and it really encouraged me.  
The people had a need- they were hungry. 
It was a big need-there were lots of people.   
And Jesus said, "How many loaves do you have?  Go and see."  (Mark 6:38).

It wasn't about how much they had to start with- it was a matter of giving what they did have to Him.   And leaving the results to Him.

So in my house I have some extra items...not significant, just a few odds and ends.    Ok, let's have this rummage sale and see what God will do with these few items we have!

Christy and I had our Rummage & Bake Sale on Saturday, Oct. 12th.

 
We didn't have a huge crowd-we do live in the country; but somehow with all of the items sold coupled with donation checks, and online sales afterwards- we raised just over $1700.   And just as there were baskets of leftovers in the loaves and fishes story - we have still more to sell online.  :)   
 
Aren't most yard sales fortunate to make $100?   Whatever we have- if we give it to Jesus- it can be multiplied.
 
We were also so blessed and encouraged by the families that baked, and donated items, and shopped on the day of the sale; and of course the family that let us use their front yard for the sale.   There was even a really sweet woman that drove with her little ones all the way from Temecula (about an hour) just to encourage us that day.    We were very encouraged. 
 
It reminds me of a message I heard by Pastor Mike MacIntosh back in 1999.   It's always stuck with me-I heard it on the radio while going to get pizza.  
 
Anyhow, he was talking about the story of Moses and how God asked him "What is that in your hand?"  (Exodus 4:2).   All Moses had was a rod.   And with that rod, God did many miracles.   Pastor Mike said, "You may not have much in your hand, but God will use what you do have, and so I will ask you- What is in your hand?"
 
It's not about what we have already- it's about what He makes out of it.
 
What is in your hand?

Sunday, October 13, 2013

I-797

We got our I-797 !!!!  

This is our approval from Homeland Security-so now our dossier can be sent to China!!!

Great timing too- because we held our rummage sale yesterday.   So not only did we raise funds for Elsa, but we got our government approval on the same day.   What a blessing!!

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Adopting one or two?

"If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him."   -James 1:5

This is one of my favorite verses.   It is so helpful.   I used to have such a tough time making decisions.   I have some perfectionism tendencies towards making the best decision.

I remember as a child, I wrestled with this so much.   One time I didn't get a souvenir at a shop we were visiting-simply because I could not choose.  It seemed best to go without-then to try to decide any longer.

I thought it was such a curse to be indecisive.   However, once I was introduced to this verse, and started applying it- I realized indecisiveness is one of the biggest blessings of my life.

"Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 
- 2 Corinthians 12:10

God teaches us best- when we seek Him.

And God doesn't mind if I pray about the simplest, silliest decisions, and ask for wisdom.   How do I  know?   Because He answers them.   Always.
Really, all of our prayer requests are small to God anyway.   So it doesn't matter if it seems big or small to us...He'll answer it either way.

Back on 6/6, I posted about how God showed me that I needed to pray before even considering adopting a second child.   And so we prayed, and I asked others to pray....asking for wisdom.

It's easy to want to make an emotional decision.   Orphans need homes-most of the time their lives depend on it.   And my own reasoning also says- it is cheaper to adopt two at once.

I was talking to God about it again, and I saw a sorta of image in my mind.  It was like when you wear sunglasses and they are just a little lower on your eyes.  So the top 10% was clear and the lower 90% of my vision was gray.
And the thought that came to my mind was: this is how much the adoption is going to affect Iana.

Then the realization really hit me...of how much all of this will affect Iana's life.   I realized how flippant I had been about this decision in her regard.   I had been focused on the needs of the children we were receiving information about, and contemplating the financial aspect instead.

Iana is an only child.  She has never experienced siblings.   She will be tremendously affected by this new addition- as all first born children are.   She has always had Ken and I to herself.  We are her favorite people.   Her toys will be shared.   Her room will be shared.  Her parents will be shared.   This is a HUGE change.   Almost everything in her life will be changed.

And while I can say, more children need a home, and that is so true.   I do also need to take care of the child that I do have.   Iana will adapt better to having one sibling added at a time.   Elsa will also do better having more attention, especially with being blind and needing more teaching.  Iana and Elsa will have an easier time bonding if it is only them.

So, right now, we feel that God is showing us to adopt one child only.   Little Elsa.   Perhaps some day we will adopt more.  It's up to Him to decide.

Iana did tell me the other day with great enthusiasm..."After we go and get Elsa, then we go back and we get MORE Elsa's!!" 

So maybe some day there will be more.  

However, for today, I am thankful that I have a Heavenly Father that gives me wisdom when I ask.   And also a Heavenly Father that cares very specifically about little Iana too.

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Waiting for our I-797 and Orphanage update

(Sung to the tune of Sailing, Sailing...)    Waiting, Waiting...Waiting for our 797....


We just got some new pictures of our little Elsa from the orphanage!!   I don't know how I can miss her so much- when I have never seen her in person.

She is so adorable.   I have the song "You must have been a beautiful baby" in my head.  :)

(I have to wait to post pictures until later.)

I really like anything sheep related...lambs....so adorable.   When we bought our house there was a sheep in the stain-glass window above the door.   My husband said, "See this house is for us, there is even a sheep above the door!"

In the pictures of Elsa, she is sitting in a little sheep walker.    so sweet.

The books I have been reading about raising a blind baby have been so encouraging and helpful.    One of the suggestions is about warning them before you pick them up-so they aren't startled.    It's kind of like if someone hugs you from behind-if you don't know they are coming-it can make you jump!    Same with the little ones that don't see you...so you are supposed to let them know that you are going to pick them up before doing so.

Anyhow, the book also talks about how delayed a blind baby often is, and we also have heard how far behind children in orphanages can get, and well I figured when we got there, she would be about 2 years old- but probably she wouldn't even be sitting up.    They also talk about  how important it is to teach them to reach out-since they don't see anything-they often don't reach.   The authors kept saying how important it is to start early with a blind baby, teaching them things.  

After reading this, I was growing increasingly concerned that during this pivotal stage in life, that she would be falling more and more behind.

And then in one of the pictures we just got..it shows her standing up... walking... while gripping her helper's hand to pull her along too.   Her hand is outstretched in front, reaching out.

They say a picture is worth a thousand words.   

Wow, what a blessing that picture was to receive!  :)

"Like cold water to a weary soul,
So is good news from a distant land."

Proverbs 25:25

**Pictures added to this post on 1/8/2014 after we got our LOA-these are the ones from Sept**



Monday, September 9, 2013

God's Design-Addendum-There is more to be seen.

After I wrote the blog entry entitled "God's Design", which gives verses regarding how God has designed the blind and the lame, I heard a Pastor on the radio.   The Pastor said that when people are facing something difficult, they don't need facts about God's sovereignty, they need hope.  

And I realized that although it is important for my own heart to state that God is in charge-a heart that weeps over a special needs situation doesn't always feel better with those verses.

So here is what I should have included.

When God allows blindness, or any physical struggle, it's limited to our time here on Earth.    

It is not forever.

Taken from Isaiah 35:5-10

"Then the eyes of the blind will be opened
And the ears of the deaf will be unstopped.
Then the lame will leap like a deer,
And the tongue of the mute will shout for joy....

A highway will be there, a roadway,
And it will be called the Highway of Holiness....
the redeemed will walk there,
And the ransomed of the Lord will return
And come with joyful shouting to Zion,
With everlasting joy upon their heads.
They will find gladness and joy,
And sorrow and sighing will flee away."


And also Revelation 21:4-6
"And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.'
Then He who sat on the throne said, 'Behold, I make all things new.' And He said to me,  Write, for these words are true and faithful.'
And He said to me, 'It is done! I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. I will give of the fountain of the water of life freely to him who thirsts. "

This time now on Earth, seems so encompassing.  It's all we remember.   It's all we know.  

But in Heaven our lives on Earth will seem very distant, a very far away memory, and then eventually it will be forgotten.

Isaiah 65:17
"For behold, I create new heavens and a new earth; And the former shall not be remembered or come to mind."

This time on Earth is actually so very very short.

2 Corinthians 4:17

"For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory..."

Compared to eternity, our lives here are just a "moment".  

These struggles-they seem so indefinite.   But they are really only for a moment.

God does make, and does allow physical disabilities in this life.   But they are allowed for a just a moment.

God has a plan.  It's just a moment.   You just have to hold on, and carry on.  

Some day the physical suffering will be long over, a distant memory.

There is a special blessing for those in this life who have been unable to walk, or unable to see- to be able to walk and see in heaven.  What a joy that will be for someone tied to a wheelchair during their lives, to not only walk, but run and leap in heaven.   For those that have difficulty even talking- to speak freely.

What a blessing it will be not only for them, but for those who love them, to watch.  

The best meal is after being famished.   And the best joy is after suffering.

Your heart is going to sing some day Mama, when you see your child in heaven with a new body and so happy.

My happiest moments are when I see my daughter rejoicing.   The joy that I feel over her happiness tops any joy that I can feel on my own.

I can not imagine the joy that a mom will feel to see her child set free at last.   In that sense, I think there will be an extra special blessing for the moms, dads, families and friends that love these little ones who suffer from special needs in this life- to see them rejoicing in heaven.

As God is our heavenly Father, and our feelings towards our children teach us how He thinks and feels towards us,  I think He will be rejoicing to see their happiness even more so.

It will be beautiful to watch.    Keep teaching your children about Jesus.  

Just wait, and you will see.
 

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Conversation at USCIS

We went to get our fingerprints today, and I had an interesting conversation with my USCIS Representative...here's a summary of how it went (while getting my fingerprints done).

Him - So, I see you are adopting a child.   Where are you adopting from?

Me- A little girl from China.

Him- Is she younger or older than your daughter?   (He saw Iana was with us.)

Me- She is only 1 year.

There we chatted about how old my daughter was and their age differences; and how Iana was happy to be a helper, and wanted to help her new sister already...

Him- That is wonderful that your daughter wants to help.  She has compassion.   We need to be more like little children and have compassion, instead of thinking about ourselves so much.

Me- Yes, that's true.

Him- I hear that Chinese adoptions take a long time-many years.

Me- Ours won't be so long.   It will be fast...because she is special needs...(pause...I could see he was still interested)... she is blind.

Him-That is great that you will adopt her!!   That is compassion to adopt her, because I come from a 3rd world country and in my  home country and in China- a child that is born with something like that -once they are born their life is over.  Since I have come to America, I have found many people that are compassionate and want to adopt and help these children.   In my country, you would not find that.   They want everything just right about the child, and if it is not-they will not adopt the child.  

Me- Well, I read about her information and felt God was showing me to adopt her, and so I prayed about it, and felt very much that God would want us to adopt her.

Him- Oh' that's wonderful.   That's great.    People will kneel, pray, go to church, and what does it mean?   But saving a life-now, that means something.   (He then repeats about how one born with something wrong in China- that their life is over-and that by adopting her-we are saving her life).    

Me-  Well, God does say Pure and undefiled religion is this, helping widows and orphans in their trouble.

Him- Yes...what God would say, Buddha would also say....same thing.  

Me- Are you Buddhist?

Him- Yes, and they are the same...just need to love people.   God doesn't care if we love Him.   He is too big for that.    We just follow His example and Buddha's example.

Me- Hmmm...but God still wants to have a relationship with us.

Him- Yes, but in Buddhism, we keep going around and around, until we do good things.   Like what you are doing, this is a good thing to do (says this very assuredly).  

Some pauses here as I fill out info and he helps someone.   He also mentions how many opportunities there are for blind people in America...how many opportunities there are in America verses in China.

Me- (praying in my head)   May I tell you something?

Him- Yes.

Me - I know Buddha says we go around and around to do good things, but as a Christian, I believe that it is Jesus that does my good work for me.   That Jesus died on the cross for my sins, so that I can ask Him into my heart to forgive me, so that I can go to heaven.    And that it doesn't make me better to God if I do anything good, even like this adoption, that it isn't enough, that it's only what Jesus did that matters.

Then we chitty chat a bit about Christianity and Catholicism (which he had experience with).

And then it is time to leave.   

I have never been given the opportunity to share about Jesus to someone so easily.  It was handed to me on a silver platter.   I wonder if any more doors will open for people to hear about Jesus, because of Elsa?

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

USCIS Appt. Notice

We received our USCIS fingerprinting appointment notices in the mail!!

Our appointments are both set for next Tuesday the 27th.  

A few weeks after this-we should receive our I-797, the last document needed before our Dossier goes to China.   :)

Thursday, August 8, 2013

Conversations with my almost 3 year old

We have been talking to Iana about when Elsa Mei gets here-and here are a few conversations we had today.


Me:  (While outside on the swing set).   When Elsa Mei gets here, you will want to let her swing in your blue swing-because it is especially for babies.

Iana:  (while swinging)  But this is Iana's swing.

Me:   Yes, but you have a big girl swing, and Elsa Mei is little-so she will need to go in the blue swing because it is safer for her.

Iana:  OK, Elsa Mei will ride in the blue swing... and Iana will push her.

***

Me:  When Elsa Mei gets here, are you going to help Mommy take care of her?

Iana:  When Elsa Mei gets here- Mama will not take care of her....Iana will take care of her.

***

Me:  (While arranging her room)   I'm making space in your room for an extra bed...so that Iana can have a bed and Elsa Mei can have bed.

Iana:  Mama doesn't need another bed... Elsa Mei will sleep with Iana in Iana's bed.

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

USCIS update & New Resources

According to our bank, USCIS (Immigration) just processed our check...so that means they are working on our paperwork!   Things are moving along... 

Also, I found a website last week written by a woman that adopted a blind baby.   It was wonderful to read all of her suggestions and thoughts.    She also recommended a few books.   I was wondering which books to read-and was so glad for her ideas.   I ordered a couple of them, and should have them soon (Reach Out and Teach: Helping Your Child Who Is Visually Impaired Learn and Grow by Kay Ferrell & Beginnings: A practical guide for parents and teachers of visually-impaired babies by Sheri Moore).

I am excited to read their smart ideas and suggestions from people that have gone on ahead of me-and learn from all their wealth of experience.

Also, I found a website devoted for blind folks- and there was a link where I can get free audios of the Bible and various Christian books.   It was wonderful to see all of the hard work that the Christian community has done for blind people, by making such a long list available-free of charge.

This same website also had so many resources for those who are blind, ranging from calendars to recipe books, among other things.    There are so many resources available, I was amazed. 

I am so thankful that I can learn from other people.   People that have lots of ideas and experience.    I felt encouraged that I am not alone in walking this path, that there are lots of people out there that have well-developed ideas and concepts on how to raise a blind child.  

It also reminded me of Hebrews 11, the "Hall of Faith", where the author describes various people who have walked in faith.    Just as I am encouraged by these folks who have raised blind children - this parallels how I can be encouraged by those Christians that have gone on before me.

He sums it up in Hebrews 12:1-2
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us,  fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith..." (italics mine).

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

God's timing is perfect.

About a month ago, I mailed off all of our dossier paperwork-thinking it would be filed shortly after.    The only item I needed was our Home Study and I thought that was complete, because Ken and I had completed everything on our end.

However, our Home Study took longer than I had thought.   Although we had finished everything, it still needed to be written up and reviewed by a number of folks.  

Home studies can be completed at various time intervals, and I was mistaken as to how long it would take.   I was still naturally disappointed, until my friend Jacci reminded me that God's timing is perfect.   I felt reassured of God's timing after she shared with me a recent story of how God blessed their family with His own sovereign timing in their own lives.

After hearing her story it calmed my fears, and I felt reassured.    I know that for my part, I have finished my paperwork as quickly as possible for my daughter.   And if folks take longer than I would prefer- I will leave that in God's hands.    Everyone has their own mental wrestling of how to prioritize their own work load.   I am still doing my "due diligence" by following up with folks, but it isn't for me to strive and push for my own will...because perhaps I will be striving with God in actuality.

My desire is that our little Elsa would be home with us as fast as possible, but God sees the bigger picture.   I need to trust Him with the timing of when she comes home.  And to trust Him that others are looking out and taking care of her-until we can get her.

The good news is that our home study is officially complete and we received the notarized copies end of last week.   They were well done and very favorable towards us, and I so very much appreciate the thoughtfulness that went into their preparation.   They were mailed off to the adoption agency and were received today.   My adoption agency told me that our 800a form would be filed with USCIS (Immigration Approval) today.

The plan is that in a few weeks, we will receive a fingerprint apt. notice, and few weeks after our fingerprints are processed, we will receive our approval in the mail.    This is the last item to officially complete our Dossier-and then it will be sent to China.

"To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven."
Ecclesiastes 3:1




Thursday, July 11, 2013

God's design

So the Lord said to Moses, "Who has made man's mouth?  Or who makes the mute, the deaf, the seeing, or the blind?  Have not I, the Lord?"   (Exodus 4:11)

God said in Isaiah 43  
"Everyone who is called by My Name, Whom I have created for My glory; I have formed him, yes, I have made him." 

And also, "This people I have formed for Myself;  They shall declare My praise."

And Psalm 139:13-16
"For You formed my inward parts;
You covered me in my mother’s womb.
I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well.
My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
And in Your book they all were written,
The days fashioned for me,
When as yet there were none of them."



John 9:1-3
"Now as Jesus passed by, He saw a man who was blind from birth.  And His disciples asked Him, saying, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?”
Jesus answered, “Neither this man nor his parents sinned, but that the works of God should be revealed in him. "

We are typically perfectionists.   

We want to choose the best food entrée at a restaurant.  
We want to buy the best house we can afford.  
We want the best education for our children.  

We want to experience the best vacations that we can.  
We want health.  
We want perfectionism. 
We want to choose the best, and if it isn't the best, well, could it even be God's will?    

Maybe God's best isn't what we would consider the best.

God sees more than we see.   God knows more than we do.

Isaiah 55:8-9
“For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways,' says the Lord.
'For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways,
And My thoughts than your thoughts."

Yes, sometimes we do bring consequences upon ourselves.    But sometimes, something happens, out of our control, that seems so difficult, we wonder if God sees and knows.

And the truth is, that God is bigger than what we think.   And when we see an impossible situation, that's when God likes to roll up His sleeves and show us what He can do.  

Because that is when we see God for who He is.   

He is naturally a Savior.

And when you see a beautiful sunset, or the variations of flowers, you know that He likes to make things beautiful.


God took an army of 32,000 and reduced it to 300.   We would be inclined to reverse that numerical change.
"And the Lord said to Gideon, “The people who are with you are too many for Me to give the Midianites into their hands, lest Israel claim glory for itself against Me, saying, ‘My own hand has saved me"  (Judges 7:2).


Paul said in 2 Corinthians 12:8-12:
" Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me.  And He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.  Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong."


God's best may be something that we see as an imperfection. 

Something that isn't right in our eyes.  
But God sees that imperfection as perfect.  
He made it that way.   On Purpose.  
He gives us weaknesses on purpose.  
He made us the way He wants.
He made Elsa Mei cute, adorable and also blind.   
He made her that way, because He sees a bigger plan.  

I would rather trust what He sees over what I see- any day of the week.   


Thursday, July 4, 2013

God bless America!




From the Statue of Liberty Inscription written by Emma Lazarus in 1883...

"Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”


So looking forward to Elsa Mei coming home!


So thankful that I live in America and Elsa will also be blessed to live here.  May God bless our country, and help us to follow Him.

So thankful that God has also blessed us with a heavenly home.

"But now they desire a better, that is, a heavenly country. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for He has prepared a city for them"
(Hebrews 11:16).

Sunday, June 23, 2013

Love = Sacrifice

A while back, while I was contemplating the costs of adoption, I mentioned to the Lord that this was going to be costly.   I had been thinking about the grants, and even with grants- this adoption was going to cost us.   It was a very clear realization for me, and honestly it troubled me.

A short time later, a Pastor came on the radio, and he said "Love is sacrifice."  Then he said something like there is no love where there is no sacrifice, because love means sacrifice.   

I hadn't thought of this before, but it is true.   Love means sacrifice.    There is no relationship that makes it, without some sacrifice to it.   Marriages often fail because someone doesn't want to sacrifice.

If God told me that He spent $5 trillion to procure my salvation- I would think, yes, but God can make all that money, what does that mean to me?   

If God said that He made a whole other universe, with multiple worlds, to procure my salvation- I would think that is wonderful, but isn't that rather easy for Him to do?

What can God do- that costs Him?    The only thing that would cost God-is something of Himself....somehow to make Himself personally pay.

Luke 22:44 talks about how Jesus, knowing He would soon be crucified, was praying in the Garden of Gethsemane. "And being in agony, He prayed more earnestly.   Then His sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground"  (Luke 22:44).   

Jesus was in agony.   Agony means "Extreme physical or mental suffering."

The clinical term of what is seems that happened with Jesus in the garden is called “hematohidrosis.”   “Around the sweat glands, there are multiple blood vessels in a net-like form. Under the pressure of great stress the vessels constrict. Then as the anxiety passes 'the blood vessels dilate to the point of rupture. The blood goes into the sweat glands.' As the sweat glands are producing a lot of sweat, it pushes the blood to the surface - coming out as droplets of blood mixed with sweat."
http://christiananswers.net/q-eden/edn-t018.html

Jesus was praying in a garden because He had to pay a price for sin.  Sin which entered the world in a garden.

After being beaten, whipped, mocked, and nailed to a cross to die.   Jesus, enduring their mockeries, did not revile them in return, but said "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do"  (Luke 23:24).

As Jesus paid the price for all our sins on the cross, He cried out to God, a cry of overwhelming heartache of separation from His Father.  "Jesus cried out with a loud voice, saying, 'Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?'; which is translated, 'My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?"  (Mark 15:34).

Jesus was paying of Himself for our sins.   All the way to death.

And as the first person to sin, in a garden, was a woman named Eve.  The first person to see Jesus resurrected, in a garden, was a woman named Mary. 

And as Eve sinned first and then told Adam to sin.   Mary was commissioned by Jesus, to go and tell His disciples the good news that He was alive.

As a woman, I feel that God has given this special place of grace- to show us His forgiveness and love.   Jesus fixed our first mistake, and gave a woman the job of carrying that news.    God was using woman's exceptional communication skills for something good.  :)

He truly can turn anything around for good, and God does so love His daughters.

Angels were placed at the garden of Eden (Genesis 3:24) as a result of punishment.   And angels were placed at Jesus' tomb to announce His resurrection (Luke 24:4-7).

Interesting the parallels between mankind's fall into sin, and Jesus' later redemption of mankind from sin. 

Since God is outside of time, I wonder if He could see those scenes playing simultaneously.

God understands love better than us.  And He showed us this love through how He paid of Himself, through His Son Jesus.   He paid something that truly cost Him- in order to adopt us.

It sure made my concern over our adoption costing us money...seem so very  small.

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Afraid to make a mistake?

A couple months ago, before I called to put a "hold" on Elsa Mei, I was afraid.

I was afraid that I wasn't hearing the Lord right, and that perhaps I was making a mistake.   A mistake that would affect not only my own family, but also little Elsa.   My fear was that if I stepped forward and put a hold on her, and something was to happen and we weren't able to adopt her- that by the time she was released from the hold-she would be older and might miss out on being adopted all together.  I didn't want to risk messing anything up for her future.

My friend Jacci put my fears at ease.   She told me that we are stepping forward in faith, and that if we were wrong, that God would make something good out of it, not only for us, but for Elsa as well.   She said perhaps we would put her on hold, and something will happen and we won't be able to adopt- but the hold will keep Elsa from being adopted by a really mean person.    She said that if we act in faith- that God will work good out of it.     That really reassured me and the next day I called to put a "hold" on Elsa.

Later, I mentioned to someone how it was interesting that God was giving me verses and messages by pastors that spoke to me, and I was still hesitant; but Ken didn't have any messages, but still said yes to adoption.   He said that God knows what we need.   That for me, God knows that I would need a lot of confirmation, and God knows that Ken doesn't need that much.   After he said this I realized it was true.  Psalm 32:9 talks about a "horse and a mule", and it always has reminded me of Ken and I.   Ken is eager to get going like the horse, and I'm more like a cautious, slow-going mule.   This is another reason that God paired us up together, so that we could average.

My sister Erica and I were talking yesterday about how back when she was in Bible College some guys were discussing about how most people give up what they are passionate about when they become Christians, and they didn't know why Christians did that.  Perhaps we think everyone needs to fit a certain mold, or maybe we are afraid to make a mistake.

My Aunt Reidel posted on FB this morning this quote: “Don't ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”   ― Howard Thurman    

I just finished reading Ecclesiastes, and I came across this verse.  Ecclesiastes 11:9.

"Rejoice, O young man, in your youth,
And let your heart cheer you in the days of your youth;
Walk in the ways of your heart,
And in the sight of your eyes;
But know that for all these
God will bring you into judgment."



The point is that if there is something you love, something you are passionate about- pursue it.   Check your motives.  And as long as you seeking to please God in what you do, and it doesn't conflict with what He has written in His Word, the Bible, then move forward.    

Of course, it's wise to continue to pray for God's wisdom and guidance along any path we are on (James 1:5).

Some people will never "hear" from God about adopting children.   They may never hear a message or a Bible verse that particularly speaks to them.   But in their hearts- they know they want to adopt children, and they are passionate about that.   God knows that those folks don't need the "special messages"- and so He doesn't give them. 

I am a bit of a stubborn mule, and so God may get me moving by giving me messages about adoption.   But if you never get those messages, that is OK too.

Follow what you are passionate about.   In Jesus there is freedom.  

James 1:27 says, "Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world."

God said it already.

Monday, June 10, 2013

Dossier update

Today I mailed in our dossier!  

I am so happy to have that done!  I am so thankful for the prayers, as it was completed much earlier than expected.

Technically speaking there is still one last form that we need for our final dossier (the one which is mailed to China), the I-797; but we won't have this one sent to us for about a month or so.   This  form isn't sent to us until another form is processed first.  

It is so nice to know that everything that we needed to work on is done.  :)

Thursday, June 6, 2013

A Gentle Rebuke


“My son, do not despise the chastening of the Lord, nor be discouraged when you are rebuked by Him; for whom the Lord loves He chastens, and scourges every son whom He receives.'  If you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom a father does not chasten?"
Hebrews 12:5b-7
 
A few weeks ago, I saw a picture of another little girl over in China.  She was very cute, and the description about her was so sweet.    I showed her picture to Ken.   I started discussing with Ken about adopting a second child at the same time as little Elsa.    It wouldn't cost as much for a second (not that we have the finances to pay for the first), but it all seemed like such a great idea.
 
The next morning I walked into the kitchen and the Pastor was sharing about how Jesus chose His disciples.    He said that the night before Jesus chose -that Jesus stayed up all night in prayer (Luke 6).    The pastor asked, "Do you think that you are better than Jesus- who stayed up all night to pray before choosing His disciples- that you don't have to pray before choosing?"
 
Yes, I felt that rebuke.   So sweet and so kind of my heavenly Father to remind me to rely on Him.
 
It reminded me of this verse...Galatians 3:3  "Are you so foolish? Having begun in the Spirit, are you now being made perfect by the flesh?"
 
So I have resigned myself to prayer.  
 
I will not seek to choose another child -except as directed by my Father.   I am not a savior.   Jesus is the Savior
 
But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at his physical stature, because I have refused him. For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”
(1 Samuel 16:7)
 
Only God knows, and I am so thankful that we can pray and seek His guidance.
 
 
 

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

A rose by any other name would smell as sweet, but a name must still be chosen!

Ken and I have prayed quite a bit about our new little one's name.    We wanted it to work in English, Danish, Chinese and it would be nice if it also worked in Hebrew, since our oldest daughter's name is Hebrew.

We had thought about keeping the adoption agency name, which we liked, but after praying about it decided not to.   The realization came to me that some day she would ask how we chose her name-and if we were to answer that the adoption agency had chosen it, and we liked it....well that would be a continual reminder throughout her life- of her past as an orphan.   We wanted a name that had a future to it.   Something that reflected her life in our family.   A name that was pretty, feminine, and also had beautiful meaning.

Her name will be Elsa Mei...pronounced... Elsa May.


Elsa was the name of Ken's grandmother (paternal side).    She passed away when Ken was about 9 years old, and Ken has talked about what a wonderful grandmother she was.   She was Danish, of course, and she spelled her name Else, but it in English it is spelled Elsa.

Ken suggested the name but then mentioned it might be more of an older name, and I told him that the only Elsa I have known was young, beautiful, dark-haired, and also kind.    It is a lovely name.

Elsa is Hebrew in origin.   It is from the name Elisabeth, and means "God's promise" or "God is my oath".

I emailed a Chinese Pastor to ask him what the name meant in Chinese.   I wondered if I would get a response...and not only did he email me back, he called to further explain the email.   

He said the name Elsa in Chinese was very beautiful.   It meant love and poetry.  

Her middle name Mei is Chinese, and it means beauty.    We wanted to keep a reminder of her Chinese heritage in her name.   Also, my sweet Aunt Shirley who passed away a couple years ago, had the middle name May.  

And so when we say her name, we can remember these beautiful women that were in our lives and blessed both of us.

Also, I hope that as she grows up, that some day when she asks me how we chose her name, and we tell her of these beautiful women...that she will truly feel a part of our family...every time she hears her name.

While I was praying and trying to really feel certain about the name- I read that the name Elsa was used in the book (and later movie) Born Free.    So I decided to look up the movie.

In the movie, Elsa was a little lion cub- that was orphaned.   Some people adopted the little cub, and when she grew up they set her free.  Maybe our little Elsa Mei will have a heart of a lioness too, and some day we will set her free, and she will be all that God has called her to be.



Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Some good news on our Home Study & Dossier

"Anxiety in the heart of a man causes depression, but a good word makes it glad."      -Proverbs 12:25

Today I got some good news...I talked to our adoption agency and she said it was OK if we ended up taking longer than 2 months for our dossier-that 2 months is just what they recommended (6 months is the real deadline).     So even though we are working diligently on the dossier - now we can just work on it as fast as possible without being scared we will lose our "hold" on our little one for being a day late.  

Also today, I emailed over the last paperwork item we needed for our Home Study.   We have a meeting next week with our social worker, and then our Home Study should be completed!

Although I know we have "extra" time to get our paperwork done, I feel very compelled to get this paperwork done as soon as possible.    During the evenings when we we pray for our little one in China, I think of her sitting in her crib ...waiting.   Little ones in orphanages tend to spend a lot of time in their cribs.  I don't want her to have to wait a day longer than she has too.



Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Following Jesus' lead

Our home study is almost complete....we are waiting on our medical test results, and finishing up the last of the parenting classes.   The dossier still needs a lot of work still.  I told a friend that I remember getting "syllabus shock" in college, and now I am experiencing "dossier shock"!  

We've had some challenges recently with some things that people have said, which are more negative towards our decision to adopt our little one.   Mostly the comments revolve around her blindness, and the difficulties that will ensue due to that challenge.  It is painful to hear these sort of comments.   I think it can be troubling to people, well-intentioned people, to see others going down a path that they don't understand, nor do they believe that God would lead us down such a challenging path....a path that is different from what is expected. 

When I was talking to Ken about the things that were said.  He responded, "I don't care what they say, we aren't leaving our daughter in an orphanage!!!"  There are different times when I am especially proud of my husband, and I am so very proud of him and the love he has for his little daughter over in China.  

Pastor Skip Heitzig was on the radio the other day talking about when Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead (John 11).  He said that when Jesus came to the tomb he asked others to roll away the stone.   Jesus also asked others to take off Lazarus' bandages after he was raised.   Pastor Skip asked the question, Why did Jesus not give a command to have the stone rolled away and for the bandages to fall off, why did He ask people to do those things?  

The answer- Because only Jesus can raise the dead.  We can move stones and take off bandages.   Jesus does His part and He asks us to do our part.   This is the essence of ministry.   

The names of the stones movers and bandage removers aren't listed.   Because those details aren't central to the story.    The centrality of the story is about Jesus.   Jesus is the only one who can save.  

We can be God's instrument, we can do what Jesus asks us to do.   Then we leave the hard parts to Him.  We leave the saving to Him.  I heard another pastor say, "The rake doesn't expect praise because he was used by the farmer."    The rake is simply a tool.  

To me, ministry is sort of like a dance with God leading and asking us to just follow His lead.  As people, we are awkward- stepping on our own feet sometimes, but it doesn't matter because God is gracious.   And the story isn't about us anyway.  It's about Jesus.   He is the Savior.   We just do the simple things that He asks us to do.   It doesn't matter what happens, or what difficulties will come our way.  What matters is that for this brief season in time, we have an opportunity to be used by Jesus, to do what He wills, and to follow His leading.  

And that's a dance that I wouldn't step out of for anything in this world.



Thursday, May 9, 2013

Moses

I heard a Pastor on the radio talking about how Moses' mom "saw he was a beautiful child", and so she hid him, and later made a little ark to try to preserve his life.   Then later Pharaoh's daughter found him, "she saw the child...and had compassion on him" (Exodus 2).   

The part of the story that spoke to me, was about how these women saw the child, and they desired that the child wouldn't perish, and so they were moved into action.   Not only that, but this is the first adoption story recorded in the Bible; little Moses...he was going to grow up to be someone very special.  

And it all started with his mom seeing that he was a beautiful child.

After this had been on my heart for a couple of days (we also just so happened to read the Moses story in Family Devo time), my friend sent me this link about a woman who has adopted and her reflections on the Moses story: http://aplacecalledsimplicity.blogspot.com/2013/04/thoughts-from-my-heart.html?m=1

Our friends Christy and David, after reading our blog, had their Bible out to read, and it fell open to Isaiah 42 and this verse stood out to them:
"And I will bring the blind by a way that they know not; I will lead them in paths that they have not known. I will make darkness into light before them and make uneven places into a plain. These things I have determined to do [for them]; and I will not leave them forsaken."  (Isaiah 42:16)

God has a plan for our little one in China.