Adopting one or two?

"If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him."   -James 1:5

This is one of my favorite verses.   It is so helpful.   I used to have such a tough time making decisions.   I have some perfectionism tendencies towards making the best decision.

I remember as a child, I wrestled with this so much.   One time I didn't get a souvenir at a shop we were visiting-simply because I could not choose.  It seemed best to go without-then to try to decide any longer.

I thought it was such a curse to be indecisive.   However, once I was introduced to this verse, and started applying it- I realized indecisiveness is one of the biggest blessings of my life.

"Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 
- 2 Corinthians 12:10

God teaches us best- when we seek Him.

And God doesn't mind if I pray about the simplest, silliest decisions, and ask for wisdom.   How do I  know?   Because He answers them.   Always.
Really, all of our prayer requests are small to God anyway.   So it doesn't matter if it seems big or small to us...He'll answer it either way.

Back on 6/6, I posted about how God showed me that I needed to pray before even considering adopting a second child.   And so we prayed, and I asked others to pray....asking for wisdom.

It's easy to want to make an emotional decision.   Orphans need homes-most of the time their lives depend on it.   And my own reasoning also says- it is cheaper to adopt two at once.

I was talking to God about it again, and I saw a sorta of image in my mind.  It was like when you wear sunglasses and they are just a little lower on your eyes.  So the top 10% was clear and the lower 90% of my vision was gray.
And the thought that came to my mind was: this is how much the adoption is going to affect Iana.

Then the realization really hit me...of how much all of this will affect Iana's life.   I realized how flippant I had been about this decision in her regard.   I had been focused on the needs of the children we were receiving information about, and contemplating the financial aspect instead.

Iana is an only child.  She has never experienced siblings.   She will be tremendously affected by this new addition- as all first born children are.   She has always had Ken and I to herself.  We are her favorite people.   Her toys will be shared.   Her room will be shared.  Her parents will be shared.   This is a HUGE change.   Almost everything in her life will be changed.

And while I can say, more children need a home, and that is so true.   I do also need to take care of the child that I do have.   Iana will adapt better to having one sibling added at a time.   Elsa will also do better having more attention, especially with being blind and needing more teaching.  Iana and Elsa will have an easier time bonding if it is only them.

So, right now, we feel that God is showing us to adopt one child only.   Little Elsa.   Perhaps some day we will adopt more.  It's up to Him to decide.

Iana did tell me the other day with great enthusiasm..."After we go and get Elsa, then we go back and we get MORE Elsa's!!" 

So maybe some day there will be more.  

However, for today, I am thankful that I have a Heavenly Father that gives me wisdom when I ask.   And also a Heavenly Father that cares very specifically about little Iana too.