My friend Jessica had info about Rainbowkids.com on her FB page. The website has information about different orphans with special needs, and I signed up to read and receive updates about various children.
Someone had said there are 167 million orphans in the world. So many and they all should have a home. I looked at sooo many children on the Rainbowkids website, for about a month. They all looked like little faces that needed a home. Each case seemed sad to me. Each child looked like they needed to be chosen. How would I chose one?
I prayed and asked God to please choose one for us. I could not make that choice. It was too hard. How does God know how to choose? I don't know...but I know He does...and I know that I don't.
Towards the end of March, I received an update that a new child had been added to the list. I clicked on the info (as I always did), and read about a little girl that was blind in both eyes. There wasn't a picture.
I walked away and thought to the Lord...yes, that is sad...but how is it more sad than anyone else I have already seen?. And then I walked by the kitchen...the radio was still on. The Pastor said, just as I passed the doorway, "And Sampson was blind in both his eyes."
Hmm...that stopped me. God was speaking to me about this little one. This was the first time any child stood out in any way after the reading. My little one was down for a nap, so I went in to read my Bible and happened to be reading through 2 Chronicles 9 (Queen of Sheba meets Solomon). I hadn't started reading, but was praying. I asked the Lord to please give me something more than the Sampson reference. I finished praying and looked down to start reading, and I read "and saw with my own eyes". The emphasis was again on both eyes.
So then I prayed, and said, "OK Lord, it seems that you want us to adopt this little girl, but I can't be half-hearted. I have to be 100% committed. There is so much involved in adoption, the money, the risks, the changes in our family. I need to have my heart broken for her." I finished saying this and started reading. Within a minute, I was weeping. I saw the little girl's life without a family. A picture came into my mind about how a person who was blind, over in China, might be begging, and maybe they wouldn't get anything that day, and then who would they go to for help, for food, to show them where to sleep? She would be older then, and who would help her? She would be alone ...in a dark world. Maybe she would get a job. But would she have a secure job her whole life? There would be times when she would need family support...but there wouldn't be one. Would she even have a friend to take her by the hand, and show her where she could sleep for the night? When the realization hit me, I realized I had to help that little girl. Her family, our family, could be her eyes. We could help her. Teach her. Give her opportunities. And if the bottom fell out, she would have a home she could return to. She would never be without food and a place to sleep and people who would love her.
I checked online later, to make sure that this picture that I saw was accurate...and sure enough the website said, that "blind people in China are one of the most vulnerable groups". To think that to be blind is vulnerable...how about if you don't have a family either? Well, that would just put you into a very highly vulnerable situation, in a world that can be very harsh.
Later I saw a notice about a little boy that was blind in one eye. Then I realized the reason why both eyes being blind was emphasised. While it is sad to be blind in one eye, through having one good eye- you can still see. It is far more difficult to be blind in both eyes.
God had chosen a child for us.
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