And we just received our pre-approval from China!! Whoohoo!
(We do have pictures of the little girl, but we have to wait to post them for now....We will post them as soon as it is OK.)
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Monday, April 29, 2013
New updates...
So I called the agency to lock the file on our daughter (that is like a RSVP they put on the child so that no one else can take her). The very nice agency rep told me that they don't handle famlies in CA, but they had an agency they work with in CO that could help us. She then told me that they had a $2500 grant on her, and the one in CO had a $3000 grant and we could keep both for her adoption! We have submitted the paperwork and our file is on the way to China for pre-approval. So exciting!
Focus on the Family had a special speaker recently, a woman who went blind in her early 30's. She had a great sense of humor and was very engaging to listen to. The only time that she got choked up was at the end, when she talked about her family, and how she couldn't have done what she had done without their support. I hope that we can be that support for our daughter.
I wasn't sure if I should write a blog about everything that has happened or not. However, Pastor David Jeremiah (Shadow Mtn) was on the radio the other morning talking about the story of Daniel and Nebuchadnezzar; and he said that even Nebuchadnezzar wrote down the things that happened with God. He said "People ask me if they should write down what God is doing in their lives, and I say, 'YES, Let the redeemed of the Lord say so!" And so that's how this blog got started. :)
Focus on the Family had a special speaker recently, a woman who went blind in her early 30's. She had a great sense of humor and was very engaging to listen to. The only time that she got choked up was at the end, when she talked about her family, and how she couldn't have done what she had done without their support. I hope that we can be that support for our daughter.
I wasn't sure if I should write a blog about everything that has happened or not. However, Pastor David Jeremiah (Shadow Mtn) was on the radio the other morning talking about the story of Daniel and Nebuchadnezzar; and he said that even Nebuchadnezzar wrote down the things that happened with God. He said "People ask me if they should write down what God is doing in their lives, and I say, 'YES, Let the redeemed of the Lord say so!" And so that's how this blog got started. :)
Risk!
So we really wanted to adopt this little girl. We were all set....except there was this was one little thing holding me back....
Risk. I don't like it. I try to never put my eggs all in one basket. My thought is to always watch others, learn from their mistakes, and avoid as many pitfalls as I can. I just don't like risk. I like the sure bet.
I told the Lord that I didn't like risk, but He didn't agree with me. This is how I know.
A few nights after I saw the posting on the little Chinese girl, I was praying and told the Lord how I felt about risk. And that with all the money needed...oh my...such risk. Oh' how could we do that?
The next morning I went into the kitchen, and Jack Hibbs (Real Radio) was on and he said, "Christians don't like risk". Oh my, that was me! He went on to say something like, "Christians don't like risk, they don't want to do anything. What are you going to do, keep $100 in your pocket and never spend it because you don't know where to put it, and then die with it still in your pocket? Give the $100 to God. Don't hold onto things, do things for God."
So then I went to MOPS. After the speaker shared, a gal from my table asked her how she started this speaking ministry she was involved with (The Hope Filled Road)? The speaker said, "following Jesus is risky, He doesn't show you everything all at once, just one step at a time."
Then later in the day a Pastor came on the radio (I think it was the "Telling the Truth" program). He was talking about the movie Schindler's List. He said the most moving part for him was the end of the movie. After the war was over, the Jews were freed, and Mr. Schindler looked down on his business suit and he saw a gold pin. He realized that the gold pin could have been sold and would have saved 2-3 Jewish lives, but he hadn't noticed it before. He was so distraught because he realized it was too late, and that the time when the pin's value could have saved lives was over. The speaker said, "Is there something in your life, that you can do now, that you will not be able to do later, that you will look back on with regret?"
So after all of these messages, and getting prayer, we decided to "lock" this little one in at the adoption agency, and pursue adopting her as our daughter. Perhaps this is a "test" to see if we will follow God's leading, or perhaps we will be so very blessed to adopt this little girl. Either way we need to follow Him.
Pursuing what God shows you isn't always going to make sense to others, maybe it will seem risky to yourself. But if God shows you to do something- you have to get out of the boat. You have to walk on seemingly uncharted waters, and keep your eyes on Him. He is your Shepherd and He will guide you as you follow Him.
Risk. I don't like it. I try to never put my eggs all in one basket. My thought is to always watch others, learn from their mistakes, and avoid as many pitfalls as I can. I just don't like risk. I like the sure bet.
I told the Lord that I didn't like risk, but He didn't agree with me. This is how I know.
A few nights after I saw the posting on the little Chinese girl, I was praying and told the Lord how I felt about risk. And that with all the money needed...oh my...such risk. Oh' how could we do that?
The next morning I went into the kitchen, and Jack Hibbs (Real Radio) was on and he said, "Christians don't like risk". Oh my, that was me! He went on to say something like, "Christians don't like risk, they don't want to do anything. What are you going to do, keep $100 in your pocket and never spend it because you don't know where to put it, and then die with it still in your pocket? Give the $100 to God. Don't hold onto things, do things for God."
So then I went to MOPS. After the speaker shared, a gal from my table asked her how she started this speaking ministry she was involved with (The Hope Filled Road)? The speaker said, "following Jesus is risky, He doesn't show you everything all at once, just one step at a time."
Then later in the day a Pastor came on the radio (I think it was the "Telling the Truth" program). He was talking about the movie Schindler's List. He said the most moving part for him was the end of the movie. After the war was over, the Jews were freed, and Mr. Schindler looked down on his business suit and he saw a gold pin. He realized that the gold pin could have been sold and would have saved 2-3 Jewish lives, but he hadn't noticed it before. He was so distraught because he realized it was too late, and that the time when the pin's value could have saved lives was over. The speaker said, "Is there something in your life, that you can do now, that you will not be able to do later, that you will look back on with regret?"
So after all of these messages, and getting prayer, we decided to "lock" this little one in at the adoption agency, and pursue adopting her as our daughter. Perhaps this is a "test" to see if we will follow God's leading, or perhaps we will be so very blessed to adopt this little girl. Either way we need to follow Him.
Pursuing what God shows you isn't always going to make sense to others, maybe it will seem risky to yourself. But if God shows you to do something- you have to get out of the boat. You have to walk on seemingly uncharted waters, and keep your eyes on Him. He is your Shepherd and He will guide you as you follow Him.
God has to choose!
My friend Jessica had info about Rainbowkids.com on her FB page. The website has information about different orphans with special needs, and I signed up to read and receive updates about various children.
Someone had said there are 167 million orphans in the world. So many and they all should have a home. I looked at sooo many children on the Rainbowkids website, for about a month. They all looked like little faces that needed a home. Each case seemed sad to me. Each child looked like they needed to be chosen. How would I chose one?
I prayed and asked God to please choose one for us. I could not make that choice. It was too hard. How does God know how to choose? I don't know...but I know He does...and I know that I don't.
Towards the end of March, I received an update that a new child had been added to the list. I clicked on the info (as I always did), and read about a little girl that was blind in both eyes. There wasn't a picture.
I walked away and thought to the Lord...yes, that is sad...but how is it more sad than anyone else I have already seen?. And then I walked by the kitchen...the radio was still on. The Pastor said, just as I passed the doorway, "And Sampson was blind in both his eyes."
Hmm...that stopped me. God was speaking to me about this little one. This was the first time any child stood out in any way after the reading. My little one was down for a nap, so I went in to read my Bible and happened to be reading through 2 Chronicles 9 (Queen of Sheba meets Solomon). I hadn't started reading, but was praying. I asked the Lord to please give me something more than the Sampson reference. I finished praying and looked down to start reading, and I read "and saw with my own eyes". The emphasis was again on both eyes.
So then I prayed, and said, "OK Lord, it seems that you want us to adopt this little girl, but I can't be half-hearted. I have to be 100% committed. There is so much involved in adoption, the money, the risks, the changes in our family. I need to have my heart broken for her." I finished saying this and started reading. Within a minute, I was weeping. I saw the little girl's life without a family. A picture came into my mind about how a person who was blind, over in China, might be begging, and maybe they wouldn't get anything that day, and then who would they go to for help, for food, to show them where to sleep? She would be older then, and who would help her? She would be alone ...in a dark world. Maybe she would get a job. But would she have a secure job her whole life? There would be times when she would need family support...but there wouldn't be one. Would she even have a friend to take her by the hand, and show her where she could sleep for the night? When the realization hit me, I realized I had to help that little girl. Her family, our family, could be her eyes. We could help her. Teach her. Give her opportunities. And if the bottom fell out, she would have a home she could return to. She would never be without food and a place to sleep and people who would love her.
I checked online later, to make sure that this picture that I saw was accurate...and sure enough the website said, that "blind people in China are one of the most vulnerable groups". To think that to be blind is vulnerable...how about if you don't have a family either? Well, that would just put you into a very highly vulnerable situation, in a world that can be very harsh.
Later I saw a notice about a little boy that was blind in one eye. Then I realized the reason why both eyes being blind was emphasised. While it is sad to be blind in one eye, through having one good eye- you can still see. It is far more difficult to be blind in both eyes.
God had chosen a child for us.
Someone had said there are 167 million orphans in the world. So many and they all should have a home. I looked at sooo many children on the Rainbowkids website, for about a month. They all looked like little faces that needed a home. Each case seemed sad to me. Each child looked like they needed to be chosen. How would I chose one?
I prayed and asked God to please choose one for us. I could not make that choice. It was too hard. How does God know how to choose? I don't know...but I know He does...and I know that I don't.
Towards the end of March, I received an update that a new child had been added to the list. I clicked on the info (as I always did), and read about a little girl that was blind in both eyes. There wasn't a picture.
I walked away and thought to the Lord...yes, that is sad...but how is it more sad than anyone else I have already seen?. And then I walked by the kitchen...the radio was still on. The Pastor said, just as I passed the doorway, "And Sampson was blind in both his eyes."
Hmm...that stopped me. God was speaking to me about this little one. This was the first time any child stood out in any way after the reading. My little one was down for a nap, so I went in to read my Bible and happened to be reading through 2 Chronicles 9 (Queen of Sheba meets Solomon). I hadn't started reading, but was praying. I asked the Lord to please give me something more than the Sampson reference. I finished praying and looked down to start reading, and I read "and saw with my own eyes". The emphasis was again on both eyes.
So then I prayed, and said, "OK Lord, it seems that you want us to adopt this little girl, but I can't be half-hearted. I have to be 100% committed. There is so much involved in adoption, the money, the risks, the changes in our family. I need to have my heart broken for her." I finished saying this and started reading. Within a minute, I was weeping. I saw the little girl's life without a family. A picture came into my mind about how a person who was blind, over in China, might be begging, and maybe they wouldn't get anything that day, and then who would they go to for help, for food, to show them where to sleep? She would be older then, and who would help her? She would be alone ...in a dark world. Maybe she would get a job. But would she have a secure job her whole life? There would be times when she would need family support...but there wouldn't be one. Would she even have a friend to take her by the hand, and show her where she could sleep for the night? When the realization hit me, I realized I had to help that little girl. Her family, our family, could be her eyes. We could help her. Teach her. Give her opportunities. And if the bottom fell out, she would have a home she could return to. She would never be without food and a place to sleep and people who would love her.
I checked online later, to make sure that this picture that I saw was accurate...and sure enough the website said, that "blind people in China are one of the most vulnerable groups". To think that to be blind is vulnerable...how about if you don't have a family either? Well, that would just put you into a very highly vulnerable situation, in a world that can be very harsh.
Later I saw a notice about a little boy that was blind in one eye. Then I realized the reason why both eyes being blind was emphasised. While it is sad to be blind in one eye, through having one good eye- you can still see. It is far more difficult to be blind in both eyes.
God had chosen a child for us.
God has a big house!
About a month ago, I was praying about adoption before I fell asleep. I was talking to the Lord, and told Him, that maybe it wasn't His will that we adopt...maybe it was my own and I needed to let it go. However, it just seemed that we had been blessed with a big house (5 bedrooms) and that for just us and our little one, well there is a lot of space...and it seemed like our house was kind of big enough for more....and then I fell asleep.
The next morning I woke up and went into the kitchen...and the radio was on...the Pastor said (as I walked in), "God has a big house." This caught my attention.
He said, "God has a big house. And He is filling it up with His adopted children. He is filling His house up, and just keeps filling it and filling it, until finally one day, the last person will pray to ask Jesus to forgive them, and then the door will be closed. But until then He is filling up His big house."
So I'm thinking that God does think our house can hold more children.
The next morning I woke up and went into the kitchen...and the radio was on...the Pastor said (as I walked in), "God has a big house." This caught my attention.
He said, "God has a big house. And He is filling it up with His adopted children. He is filling His house up, and just keeps filling it and filling it, until finally one day, the last person will pray to ask Jesus to forgive them, and then the door will be closed. But until then He is filling up His big house."
So I'm thinking that God does think our house can hold more children.
Adoption...it's God's plan first!
So my friend Joanne recommended that we watch a message by Voddie Baucham about adoption...you can view it here if you want... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xC5qnz5X4Jc .
After watching it, Ken and I viewed adoption a little differently. We saw how God has adopted us-with a new understanding of what that means. It brought me even greater reassurance and security in my relationship with my Father. That once a child is adopted-it is a done deal. Once adopted, we are a child of the king. All the children have the same rights as any other child.
Just as Ephesians 1:3-7 says, "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ, just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love, having predestined us to adoption as sons by Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will, to the praise of the glory of His grace, by which He made us accepted in the Beloved. In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of His grace."
Voddie made many interesting points, but one thing in particular he said, was that when someone decides to adopt -it has to be all about that child- not what the child can do for you-but what you can do for the child. And isn't that how it is with God? There is nothing that we bring to the table with God...everything is about His grace in choosing to love us (Ephesians 2:8).
Just as a family wants to adopt a child solely to love and bless that child. God has gone above and beyond for us. His plan in eternity is to bestow on us love and "the riches of His glory" for eternity. (Romans 9:23)
Oh' how marvelous it is to be adopted by God and to be blessed by His great love and rich mercies. And whereas we pay money to adopt a child, God paid the ultimate sacrifice through Jesus dying on the cross to forgive us. He paid a very high price to adopt His children, way more than we would ever pay in an earthly adoption process. God's adoption plan is perfect from every angle, in every comparison to earthly adoptions...God goes above and beyond.
After watching this message, I went to read a book my Mom had given me in December, by Max Lucado, called Grace. The chapter I opened to next, happened to be on adoption, it was called "Chosen Children". Max talks about the orphan train from 1854-1929, and about a little boy Lee, who was on that train. He talked about the boy's struggles of being unwanted, and then talked about how after some time, he was adopted by this couple on a farm. He talked about how after the adoption that couple walked him up and down the street to meet the neighbors and introduce "their new son". It was a moving story, but it parallels how God has adopted us. Max said "Adopted children are chosen children" and "To accept God's grace is to accept God's offer to be adopted into his family."
When Max closed the chapter he wrote: "To live as God's child is to know, at this very instant, that you are loved by your Maker not because you try to please him and succeed, or fail to please him and apologize, but because he wants to be your Father. Nothing more. All your efforts to win his affection are unnecessary. All your fears of losing his affection are needless. You can no more make him want you than you can convince him to abandon you. The adoption is irreversible. You have a place at his table."
God is the Master of adoption!
After watching it, Ken and I viewed adoption a little differently. We saw how God has adopted us-with a new understanding of what that means. It brought me even greater reassurance and security in my relationship with my Father. That once a child is adopted-it is a done deal. Once adopted, we are a child of the king. All the children have the same rights as any other child.
Just as Ephesians 1:3-7 says, "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ, just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love, having predestined us to adoption as sons by Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will, to the praise of the glory of His grace, by which He made us accepted in the Beloved. In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of His grace."
Voddie made many interesting points, but one thing in particular he said, was that when someone decides to adopt -it has to be all about that child- not what the child can do for you-but what you can do for the child. And isn't that how it is with God? There is nothing that we bring to the table with God...everything is about His grace in choosing to love us (Ephesians 2:8).
Just as a family wants to adopt a child solely to love and bless that child. God has gone above and beyond for us. His plan in eternity is to bestow on us love and "the riches of His glory" for eternity. (Romans 9:23)
Oh' how marvelous it is to be adopted by God and to be blessed by His great love and rich mercies. And whereas we pay money to adopt a child, God paid the ultimate sacrifice through Jesus dying on the cross to forgive us. He paid a very high price to adopt His children, way more than we would ever pay in an earthly adoption process. God's adoption plan is perfect from every angle, in every comparison to earthly adoptions...God goes above and beyond.
After watching this message, I went to read a book my Mom had given me in December, by Max Lucado, called Grace. The chapter I opened to next, happened to be on adoption, it was called "Chosen Children". Max talks about the orphan train from 1854-1929, and about a little boy Lee, who was on that train. He talked about the boy's struggles of being unwanted, and then talked about how after some time, he was adopted by this couple on a farm. He talked about how after the adoption that couple walked him up and down the street to meet the neighbors and introduce "their new son". It was a moving story, but it parallels how God has adopted us. Max said "Adopted children are chosen children" and "To accept God's grace is to accept God's offer to be adopted into his family."
When Max closed the chapter he wrote: "To live as God's child is to know, at this very instant, that you are loved by your Maker not because you try to please him and succeed, or fail to please him and apologize, but because he wants to be your Father. Nothing more. All your efforts to win his affection are unnecessary. All your fears of losing his affection are needless. You can no more make him want you than you can convince him to abandon you. The adoption is irreversible. You have a place at his table."
God is the Master of adoption!
Also in February...Ken's ready to adopt!
Towards the beginning of February we started to attend a home fellowship on Sunday afternoons.
I had met Christy and her family about a year ago, and she had adopted two children. I hadn't seen her for a long time and was praying to run into her. She ended up joining the same fellowship about a week before us!
Christy and her husband talked to Ken (my husband) and I for quite a while. Ken had been interested in adoption but had some questions which they answered. After talking with them, Ken was 100% on board with adoption and was excited about the idea of growing our family through adoption. I was amazed how how quickly my husband had jumped on board, when I had been praying for months...and was still unsure. Wow!
I had met Christy and her family about a year ago, and she had adopted two children. I hadn't seen her for a long time and was praying to run into her. She ended up joining the same fellowship about a week before us!
Christy and her husband talked to Ken (my husband) and I for quite a while. Ken had been interested in adoption but had some questions which they answered. After talking with them, Ken was 100% on board with adoption and was excited about the idea of growing our family through adoption. I was amazed how how quickly my husband had jumped on board, when I had been praying for months...and was still unsure. Wow!
Saturday, April 27, 2013
February 2013 -Finding "No Greater Joy Mom" Blog
Back in Februrary, I went on FB and found a posting on my friend Karen's page about a blog.
The blog was called "No Greater Joy Mom". I opened it up and I was hooked. Every page was amazing. I read her blog every evening...it was so fascinating and amazing. She is woman passionate about Jesus and orphans. She also desires to adopt special-needs children. I hadn't heard about orphans like this. I hadn't heard about special-needs adoptions. This woman was my teacher, and my new hero. I loved to read what she did, and I loved to read about these amazing children. It broke my heart to read about these orphanages and the fate of these children. But I couldn't resist, I had to read more, and so I did....here's her blog if you want to take a look.. http://www.nogreaterjoymom.com/
The blog was called "No Greater Joy Mom". I opened it up and I was hooked. Every page was amazing. I read her blog every evening...it was so fascinating and amazing. She is woman passionate about Jesus and orphans. She also desires to adopt special-needs children. I hadn't heard about orphans like this. I hadn't heard about special-needs adoptions. This woman was my teacher, and my new hero. I loved to read what she did, and I loved to read about these amazing children. It broke my heart to read about these orphanages and the fate of these children. But I couldn't resist, I had to read more, and so I did....here's her blog if you want to take a look.. http://www.nogreaterjoymom.com/
About January 2013 -Is Adoption for us?
During dinnertime, I was listening to Focus on the Family.
They were giving marriage and family advice. At the end of the program, the woman said, perhaps you can relate to these concerns (and I thought "hmm, not really").
Then she said, "Or perhaps you don't have problems in your marriage and your family is thriving?" (I thought "hmm...yes, I suppose so").
Then she said, "Maybe your family is thriving, not just for your own sake, but so that you can bless others that need a family." Then she started talking about orphans. Then I starting wondering maybe that is what God wants us to do?
They were giving marriage and family advice. At the end of the program, the woman said, perhaps you can relate to these concerns (and I thought "hmm, not really").
Then she said, "Or perhaps you don't have problems in your marriage and your family is thriving?" (I thought "hmm...yes, I suppose so").
Then she said, "Maybe your family is thriving, not just for your own sake, but so that you can bless others that need a family." Then she started talking about orphans. Then I starting wondering maybe that is what God wants us to do?
It all started with...Avocado and cheese...
A few months ago I sat down to eat an avocado and cheese sandwich with my little girl.
I was super pleased as I do love avocado and cheese sandwiches. When I went to take my first bite, I heard the Pastor on the radio say "The rich man fared sumptuously every day while Lazarus sat outside the gate." Hmmm...my sandwich didn't seem so appealing. I knew that we were not rich compared to American standards, but compared to the rest of the world...well we were wealthy. After hesitating a bit, I put it out of my mind and finished my tasty food.
The next day, I realized I still had more avocado, and I could have one of those tasty sandwiches again...exciting times! Gone was the message of yesterday, today was a new day! So I made us sandwiches and sat down to eat. We eat lunch at different times during the day, but right when I went to take that first bite again, the same Pastor's voice came on the radio and said the exact same thing, "The rich man fared sumptuously every day while Lazarus sat outside the gate." Ok, now this was concerning me. I know sometimes they replay portions of the message from the day before; however, we eat at different times, and why did that exact sentence happen to be stated right when I was taking my first bite? Such poignant words, especially since I knew my food was sumptuously tasty.
So I stood up and I walked to my kitchen window and looked outside, and I said, "Lord, there is no poor person at my gate, there is no poor person at anyone's house that I know. I don't understand why you are telling me this. What am I supposed to do?" I know that I am saved by Jesus, and by His grace would be saved from the fate of hell- as compared to the rich man in the story; but I didn't want to be acting like this rich man.
A few days later, I happened to read the text of this story in the Bible, and realized a couple things.... the beggar man in the story was choiceless -if he had a way to work he would not have just lain at this man's gate hoping to be fed. Maybe he was unable to walk since someone "laid" the man there-hoping that the rich man would feed him (even though he didn't seem to).
I was super pleased as I do love avocado and cheese sandwiches. When I went to take my first bite, I heard the Pastor on the radio say "The rich man fared sumptuously every day while Lazarus sat outside the gate." Hmmm...my sandwich didn't seem so appealing. I knew that we were not rich compared to American standards, but compared to the rest of the world...well we were wealthy. After hesitating a bit, I put it out of my mind and finished my tasty food.
The next day, I realized I still had more avocado, and I could have one of those tasty sandwiches again...exciting times! Gone was the message of yesterday, today was a new day! So I made us sandwiches and sat down to eat. We eat lunch at different times during the day, but right when I went to take that first bite again, the same Pastor's voice came on the radio and said the exact same thing, "The rich man fared sumptuously every day while Lazarus sat outside the gate." Ok, now this was concerning me. I know sometimes they replay portions of the message from the day before; however, we eat at different times, and why did that exact sentence happen to be stated right when I was taking my first bite? Such poignant words, especially since I knew my food was sumptuously tasty.
So I stood up and I walked to my kitchen window and looked outside, and I said, "Lord, there is no poor person at my gate, there is no poor person at anyone's house that I know. I don't understand why you are telling me this. What am I supposed to do?" I know that I am saved by Jesus, and by His grace would be saved from the fate of hell- as compared to the rich man in the story; but I didn't want to be acting like this rich man.
A few days later, I happened to read the text of this story in the Bible, and realized a couple things.... the beggar man in the story was choiceless -if he had a way to work he would not have just lain at this man's gate hoping to be fed. Maybe he was unable to walk since someone "laid" the man there-hoping that the rich man would feed him (even though he didn't seem to).
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