Elsa's grief

Elsa had good relationships at her orphanage, which is such a blessing.   Since she bonded with folks there, she has the ability to bond...which is huge.

But because of this bonding, Elsa weeps at night.

She misses them, because she realizes that this is not just a day trip. 

The sound of her cry is not like a tantrum, not like she has hurt herself, but a deep internal wail, with her chest heaving and tears falling down her face.   As she weeps for the loss of her loved ones.  This is a normal grieving process.

The first night she was awake almost all night grieving, and Ken would sing her back to sleep.    

Last night, she was awake only a couple of times.

She wept again when we went for our adoption paperwork, and one of her favorite caretakers handed her back to us.   She must really love him.   

Elsa weeps whenever her new "beloved" Ken leaves the room, even if he leaves just for a minute.   She is so afraid of losing the beloved person in her life again.  She has to be touching him all the time- to feel safe.

I'm reminded of the book Kisses from Katie.   Where she says something like:  Adoption is painful.  But it is God's plan for redemption.   It is the Gospel in my living room.

Whenever Ken returns from his short absence, he reassures Elsa.   He tells her that he will always come back for her.  That he is her Daddy and he is not going to leave her.   She doesn't understand, but some day she will.

Elsa doesn't understand the reality that her loved ones at the orphanage will care for her until she is 14.   And then the reality is, they are not really her parents, and she will be alone.

The reality is that this change is the best decision for her, that her future is best with a family, in a country that will give her more opportunities for her eye sight situation.

Sometimes we don't understand our reality.    That our Heavenly Father has adopted us.  And sometimes that adoption process can be painful, when we yield to His will, when we say "no" to things that He doesn't want for us, when we lose relationships because we belong to Christ.

Adoption is painful.   

But it is God's plan for redemption.

God tells us that He will never leave us nor forsake us. That He will wipe every tear from our eyes.   He will sing to us...

"The LORD your God in your midst, 

The Might One, will save;

He will rejoice over you with gladness,

He will quiet you with His love,

He will rejoice over you with singing."

(Zephaniah 3:17)

The reality is our relationships here are temporary, except for those with our brothers and sisters in Christ.  Our real home.   Our lasting home.  Our home that promises us a future ... is the one with our Heavenly Father.

"I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you."

(John 14:18)

He does love us so.  

And He has such good plans for us (Jeremiah 29:11).

Hang on Elsa...your Daddy's got you.