A while back, while I was contemplating the costs of adoption, I mentioned to the Lord that this was going to be costly. I had been thinking about the grants, and even with grants- this adoption was going to cost us. It was a very clear realization for me, and honestly it troubled me.
A short time later, a Pastor came on the radio, and he said "Love is sacrifice." Then he said something like there is no love where there is no sacrifice, because love means sacrifice.
I hadn't thought of this before, but it is true. Love means sacrifice. There is no relationship that makes it, without some sacrifice to it. Marriages often fail because someone doesn't want to sacrifice.
If God told me that He spent $5 trillion to procure my salvation- I would think, yes, but God can make all that money, what does that mean to me?
If God said that He made a whole other universe, with multiple worlds, to procure my salvation- I would think that is wonderful, but isn't that rather easy for Him to do?
What can God do- that costs Him? The only thing that would cost God-is something of Himself....somehow to make Himself personally pay.
Luke 22:44 talks about how Jesus, knowing He would soon be crucified, was praying in the Garden of Gethsemane. "And being in agony, He prayed more earnestly. Then His sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground" (Luke 22:44).
Jesus was in agony. Agony means "Extreme physical or mental suffering."
The clinical term of what is seems that happened with Jesus in the garden is called “hematohidrosis.” “Around the sweat glands, there are multiple blood vessels in a net-like form. Under the pressure of great stress the vessels constrict. Then as the anxiety passes 'the blood vessels dilate to the point of rupture. The blood goes into the sweat glands.' As the sweat glands are producing a lot of sweat, it pushes the blood to the surface - coming out as droplets of blood mixed with sweat."
http://christiananswers.net/q-eden/edn-t018.html
Jesus was praying in a garden because He had to pay a price for sin. Sin which entered the world in a garden.
After being beaten, whipped, mocked, and nailed to a cross to die. Jesus, enduring their mockeries, did not revile them in return, but said "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do" (Luke 23:24).
As Jesus paid the price for all our sins on the cross, He cried out to God, a cry of overwhelming heartache of separation from His Father. "Jesus cried out with a loud voice, saying, 'Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?'; which is translated, 'My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?" (Mark 15:34).
Jesus was paying of Himself for our sins. All the way to death.
And as the first person to sin, in a garden, was a woman named Eve. The first person to see Jesus resurrected, in a garden, was a woman named Mary.
And as Eve sinned first and then told Adam to sin. Mary was commissioned by Jesus, to go and tell His disciples the good news that He was alive.
As a woman, I feel that God has given this special place of grace- to show us His forgiveness and love. Jesus fixed our first mistake, and gave a woman the job of carrying that news. God was using woman's exceptional communication skills for something good. :)
He truly can turn anything around for good, and God does so love His daughters.
Angels were placed at the garden of Eden (Genesis 3:24) as a result of punishment. And angels were placed at Jesus' tomb to announce His resurrection (Luke 24:4-7).
Interesting the parallels between mankind's fall into sin, and Jesus' later redemption of mankind from sin.
Since God is outside of time, I wonder if He could see those scenes playing simultaneously.
God understands love better than us. And He showed us this love through how He paid of Himself, through His Son Jesus. He paid something that truly cost Him- in order to adopt us.
It sure made my concern over our adoption costing us money...seem so very small.
Sunday, June 23, 2013
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
Afraid to make a mistake?
A couple months ago, before I called to put a "hold" on Elsa Mei, I was afraid.
I was afraid that I wasn't hearing the Lord right, and that perhaps I was making a mistake. A mistake that would affect not only my own family, but also little Elsa. My fear was that if I stepped forward and put a hold on her, and something was to happen and we weren't able to adopt her- that by the time she was released from the hold-she would be older and might miss out on being adopted all together. I didn't want to risk messing anything up for her future.
My friend Jacci put my fears at ease. She told me that we are stepping forward in faith, and that if we were wrong, that God would make something good out of it, not only for us, but for Elsa as well. She said perhaps we would put her on hold, and something will happen and we won't be able to adopt- but the hold will keep Elsa from being adopted by a really mean person. She said that if we act in faith- that God will work good out of it. That really reassured me and the next day I called to put a "hold" on Elsa.
Later, I mentioned to someone how it was interesting that God was giving me verses and messages by pastors that spoke to me, and I was still hesitant; but Ken didn't have any messages, but still said yes to adoption. He said that God knows what we need. That for me, God knows that I would need a lot of confirmation, and God knows that Ken doesn't need that much. After he said this I realized it was true. Psalm 32:9 talks about a "horse and a mule", and it always has reminded me of Ken and I. Ken is eager to get going like the horse, and I'm more like a cautious, slow-going mule. This is another reason that God paired us up together, so that we could average.
My sister Erica and I were talking yesterday about how back when she was in Bible College some guys were discussing about how most people give up what they are passionate about when they become Christians, and they didn't know why Christians did that. Perhaps we think everyone needs to fit a certain mold, or maybe we are afraid to make a mistake.
My Aunt Reidel posted on FB this morning this quote: “Don't ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” ― Howard Thurman
I just finished reading Ecclesiastes, and I came across this verse. Ecclesiastes 11:9.
"Rejoice, O young man, in your youth,
And let your heart cheer you in the days of your youth;
Walk in the ways of your heart,
And in the sight of your eyes;
But know that for all these
God will bring you into judgment."
The point is that if there is something you love, something you are passionate about- pursue it. Check your motives. And as long as you seeking to please God in what you do, and it doesn't conflict with what He has written in His Word, the Bible, then move forward.
Of course, it's wise to continue to pray for God's wisdom and guidance along any path we are on (James 1:5).
Some people will never "hear" from God about adopting children. They may never hear a message or a Bible verse that particularly speaks to them. But in their hearts- they know they want to adopt children, and they are passionate about that. God knows that those folks don't need the "special messages"- and so He doesn't give them.
I am a bit of a stubborn mule, and so God may get me moving by giving me messages about adoption. But if you never get those messages, that is OK too.
Follow what you are passionate about. In Jesus there is freedom.
James 1:27 says, "Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world."
God said it already.
I was afraid that I wasn't hearing the Lord right, and that perhaps I was making a mistake. A mistake that would affect not only my own family, but also little Elsa. My fear was that if I stepped forward and put a hold on her, and something was to happen and we weren't able to adopt her- that by the time she was released from the hold-she would be older and might miss out on being adopted all together. I didn't want to risk messing anything up for her future.
My friend Jacci put my fears at ease. She told me that we are stepping forward in faith, and that if we were wrong, that God would make something good out of it, not only for us, but for Elsa as well. She said perhaps we would put her on hold, and something will happen and we won't be able to adopt- but the hold will keep Elsa from being adopted by a really mean person. She said that if we act in faith- that God will work good out of it. That really reassured me and the next day I called to put a "hold" on Elsa.
Later, I mentioned to someone how it was interesting that God was giving me verses and messages by pastors that spoke to me, and I was still hesitant; but Ken didn't have any messages, but still said yes to adoption. He said that God knows what we need. That for me, God knows that I would need a lot of confirmation, and God knows that Ken doesn't need that much. After he said this I realized it was true. Psalm 32:9 talks about a "horse and a mule", and it always has reminded me of Ken and I. Ken is eager to get going like the horse, and I'm more like a cautious, slow-going mule. This is another reason that God paired us up together, so that we could average.
My sister Erica and I were talking yesterday about how back when she was in Bible College some guys were discussing about how most people give up what they are passionate about when they become Christians, and they didn't know why Christians did that. Perhaps we think everyone needs to fit a certain mold, or maybe we are afraid to make a mistake.
My Aunt Reidel posted on FB this morning this quote: “Don't ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” ― Howard Thurman
I just finished reading Ecclesiastes, and I came across this verse. Ecclesiastes 11:9.
"Rejoice, O young man, in your youth,
And let your heart cheer you in the days of your youth;
Walk in the ways of your heart,
And in the sight of your eyes;
But know that for all these
God will bring you into judgment."
The point is that if there is something you love, something you are passionate about- pursue it. Check your motives. And as long as you seeking to please God in what you do, and it doesn't conflict with what He has written in His Word, the Bible, then move forward.
Of course, it's wise to continue to pray for God's wisdom and guidance along any path we are on (James 1:5).
Some people will never "hear" from God about adopting children. They may never hear a message or a Bible verse that particularly speaks to them. But in their hearts- they know they want to adopt children, and they are passionate about that. God knows that those folks don't need the "special messages"- and so He doesn't give them.
I am a bit of a stubborn mule, and so God may get me moving by giving me messages about adoption. But if you never get those messages, that is OK too.
Follow what you are passionate about. In Jesus there is freedom.
James 1:27 says, "Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world."
God said it already.
Monday, June 10, 2013
Dossier update
Today I mailed in our dossier!
I am so happy to have that done! I am so thankful for the prayers, as it was completed much earlier than expected.
Technically speaking there is still one last form that we need for our final dossier (the one which is mailed to China), the I-797; but we won't have this one sent to us for about a month or so. This form isn't sent to us until another form is processed first.
It is so nice to know that everything that we needed to work on is done. :)
I am so happy to have that done! I am so thankful for the prayers, as it was completed much earlier than expected.
Technically speaking there is still one last form that we need for our final dossier (the one which is mailed to China), the I-797; but we won't have this one sent to us for about a month or so. This form isn't sent to us until another form is processed first.
It is so nice to know that everything that we needed to work on is done. :)
Thursday, June 6, 2013
A Gentle Rebuke
“My son, do not despise the chastening of the Lord, nor be discouraged when you are rebuked by Him; for whom the Lord loves He chastens, and scourges every son whom He receives.' If you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom a father does not chasten?"
Hebrews 12:5b-7
A few weeks ago, I saw a picture of another little girl over in China. She was very cute, and the description about her was so sweet. I showed her picture to Ken. I started discussing with Ken about adopting a second child at the same time as little Elsa. It wouldn't cost as much for a second (not that we have the finances to pay for the first), but it all seemed like such a great idea.
The next morning I walked into the kitchen and the Pastor was sharing about how Jesus chose His disciples. He said that the night before Jesus chose -that Jesus stayed up all night in prayer (Luke 6). The pastor asked, "Do you think that you are better than Jesus- who stayed up all night to pray before choosing His disciples- that you don't have to pray before choosing?"
Yes, I felt that rebuke. So sweet and so kind of my heavenly Father to remind me to rely on Him.
It reminded me of this verse...Galatians 3:3 "Are you so foolish? Having begun in the Spirit, are you now being made perfect by the flesh?"
So I have resigned myself to prayer.
I will not seek to choose another child -except as directed by my Father. I am not a savior. Jesus is the Savior.
But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at his physical stature, because I have refused him. For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”
(1 Samuel 16:7)
Only God knows, and I am so thankful that we can pray and seek His guidance.
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